when fate laughs at you
By heather | July 3, 2008
Much of my surfing lately has been reading about “Ways to Induce Labor Naturally”.
The other day I got to thinking that for an impatient control freak like me, what better way to bring on labor than by NOT doing certain things. For example:
- Not packing a suitcase to go to the hospital and in fact having every item of clothing that I would conceivably take with me sitting dirty in the laundry.
- Not getting the car seat installed, or even out of the attic.
- Not putting the crib together, evn though it arrived !gasp! as scheduled, last week.
- Not having the bottles and pump supplies washed and organized, ready to go.
- Continuing to avoid discussions about names and insisting on referring to her as “Freelove” (a name that is actually on my family tree).
- Refusing to meet with the guy who is replacing me at work to do turnover.
I’ve become convinced, much to Brett’s annoyance, that doing any of these things will mean that I’ll never go into labor.
With each to-do that gets done, I’ve decided I need to counteract the effects of preparedness. So far the only thing I’ve come up with is online shopping for more maternity clothes, which are sure to arrive AFTER the baby is born. Or planning an out-of-town vacation.
So what else is there?
I’m not looking for the twiddle-yourself-and-drink-weird-herbal-tea suggestions. Give me good, laughing in the face of fate, I-dare-you suggestions. Expensive? Inconvenient? Dumb? All the better.
Topics: soliciting advice | 2 Comments »
share the love
By heather | July 2, 2008
I’m going to interrupt my shopping week posts to introduce you to my friend, the lovely Vicki of NotSoSAHM.
I first met Vicki five years ago when her family moved into the townhouse two doors down from us. Her daughter Reagan, who was probably two at the time was so well behaved it was as if she were starring in a movie, and Vicki was the sweetest Southern belle I’d ever encountered in real life. Maybe I’m exaggerating but I think she served me home brewed sweet tea and fresh baked muffins or something.
I went home and said to Brett, “I don’t think we’ll be friends with them, they are WAAAY too nice for us.”
Despite our differences (and Vicki not cursing like a sailor as I sometimes do) we clicked as friends.
Vicki started blogging a few months ago, shortly after she had another baby and started her business, Sew Petit.
As a blogger, she is engaging and sometimes controversial. And consistent (meaning I think she already has more posts than me and I’ve been dishing out slop for almost a year).
As a mom, she is one of my go-to people when I feel like a complete parenting failure.
As a seamstress and designer she comes up with amazing, beautiful gifts. If you need something for a shower or christening or birthday, go see her.
The reason for all this love is because Vicki bestowed me with my first blog award.
Is nice, no?
Vicki exempted me from the passing it along but since I spent a good part of the morning testing all the pens on my desk and wondering who turned off the office A/C, I should be able to spare a few minutes to share the love. So here are the rules for the Arte y Pico award:
- You have to pick 5 blogs that you consider deserving of this award for their creativity, design, interesting material, and also contribute to the blogging community, no matter what language.
- Each award has to have the name of the author and a link to his/her blog to be visited by everyone.
- Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that presented her/him with the award.
- The award winner and one who has given the prize have to show the link “Arte y Pico” blog so everyone will know the origin of this award.
- Show these rules.
And now I pass it to my creative muses:
Collecting Tokens: I’m constantly amazed by Alejna’s linguistical lists. Also see her Kick-Ass Women Project page, it will make you want a pair of thigh-high stiletto black boots which you will wear to stalk through the world of idiots, taking names as you, well, kick ass.
Yoga Gumbo: YogaMum writes some inspiring and touching posts, and also just recently wrote one about creativity and nurturing it, which goes right along with this award. Also yummy recipes.
Rura and Miss: Miss takes some amazing photographs of professional caliber without even trying. Also she’s mouthy and we love her for that.
It’s Not Just You: Anne is another of my real life (vs. Internet) friends and for my baby shower, she made me the most awesome diaper bag, which I have been using as a fun summery purse for the last 3 weeks. She not only sews, she gardens and creates and kicks ass at work.
I think I’ll stop at four. Partly because the other blogs I would give it to I lurk on and partly because Vicki said I could.
Topics: Uncategorized | 4 Comments »
out damned stuff part deux
By heather | July 2, 2008
On Thursday, we have a second charity coming to haul away MORE CRAP, including a futon that got rejected by the first charity, a working television WITH REMOTE, and various home decor objects.
The first charity rejected the futon and left it in our driveway because it had cat hair on it. Not blood or pee stains or rips…cat hair. Of course, now it’s covered with much worse from sitting in the garage for 2 months.
What happened to ‘beggars can’t be choosers’? This is a local charity that routinely preempts my TV with telethons begging me for money! I’m trying to help the kids! Take my hairy futon!
Right?
Or am I the beggar in this case, pleading with them to take away some of my materialistic guilt over having too much stuff?
What I should have done was have a garage sale. Except that I am too chicken or lazy to have a garage sale. When I look over the inventory we’ve given away in the last three months, I could have made some serious coin if only I were willing to sit in my yard for an entire Saturday and haggle while watching strangers paw my stuff.
Garage selling veterans have warned me that garage sale shoppers will show up at your house hours before the sale starts and pester you while you’re setting up, ask to use your bathroom, and generally act like people in Sam’s Club which I totally couldn’t handle.
So alas - furniture, clothing, luggage, home decor - you name it and we’ve given it away.
My main shopping vices are home stuff, clothes, baby stuff, and organizational stuff. You see the correlation right?
Therefore, my new shopping policy is this - before purchasing something it has to fit one of the following criteria:
- Home decor must have a home in my house before it leaves the store. There will be no renting of space on the kitchen counter or in the guest bedroom until I decide where it should live.
- Clothing and shoes must be able to pair with something I already own and/or replace another item. That means if I can’t think of at least 3 outfits to wear it with, then something else in my closet must go to make room for the new guy. Also I must really, really want it and be totally 100% (ref: reverse shopping).
- Baby stuff must have a reason, AND be on sale. Good reasons do not include, “But look how cute it is!”
- Organizational type crates and boxes and drawer sorters must have a pre-determined location and a pile of stuff that is waiting to go in it. There will be no purchases made with a vague notion that if I just get those toys or papers sorted then all of a sudden the house is clean and the baby is smiling and all is right with the world.
It will be hard, but as I said before, I am strong. And overwhelmed by clutter.
Topics: home improvement, lists!, this is why | 3 Comments »
reverse shopping
By heather | July 1, 2008
One of my favorite books of all time is Angels by Marian Keyes. Although all her books are amazing, engrossing comfort reads, I have read this one more times than I can count. This book’s main character, Maggie, reverse shops and it’s where I first heard the term.
You know how you’re in the dressing room, and you try something on and it looks ok and it’s probably on sale? And you aren’t SURE you should buy it but you do anyway? Then you have to take it back because you’ve had a guilt trip/second thought/attack of remorse? That’s reverse shopping.
Even when I was still in junior high, I remember going shopping with my mom and hearing her say, “If you’re not 100% sure, then don’t buy it because you’ll never wear it!” Back then, I didn’t reverse shop that much, because I wasn’t spending my own money. Mom was right though, and now that I am spending my own money I flashback to her words everytime I’m in the dressing room.
Does anyone else buy things and even as your credit card is being swiped, you know in the back of your mind you’re going to return it? Then you go and return it and while you’re there just decide to poke around and you see something that you just have to have, but it doesn’t feel like you’re spending money because you just got a refund! That’s what I call multiplicative linear shopping.
Because of my propensity for reverse and linear shopping, I despise stores that track returns. Does anyone remember the outrage several years ago when the Limited stores annouced they would start tracking returns, and reserved the right to deny a return if you’d brought back too much stuff? Or maybe it was just me that was outraged.
It’s not the tracking per se, but that you never know when they could decide to refuse you a return. Give me a dollar limit or number of items in a certain time period and I have no problem with it. It’s the unknown that makes me wobbly.
I also hate places that only give store credit - I’m talking to you Motherhood - and just on principle I refuse to buy anything there. Even if I LOVE something and as Mom would say am 100% totally sure, I won’t buy it if I can’t return it. It’s a leap of faith I cannot make.
The other day I had shopper’s remorse over a shirt that I bought for Alex. But then I figured out that the cost of the gas to get me back to the store to return it cost more than the shirt.
This is a new and unintended consequence of counting on reverse shopping to ease my guilt. This is why I now find myself standing in stores trying to do numbers in my head until my brain hurts. Then when I can’t figure out how much I’m saving vs. how much I really want something vs. how much it will cost if I change my mind, I stumble out of the store to find my Zoloft and forget to spend any money.
I think I’ve found the silver lining of driving a gas guzzler that requires premium gas and costs me $70 to fill up.
Topics: shopping capers, this is why | 4 Comments »