maybe next year we’ll try cash bribes
By heather | November 29, 2011
Yet another reason I will be glad for Christmas Eve: the Elf on the Shelf. If you don’t know what this is, you are probably 1) not from the South 2) do not have kids or 3) don’t visit shops that sell Christmas ornaments in July. I’m thinking this year Santa has drastically improved his distribution network because it used to be just the annoying Christmas stores that are open year round, now the Elf on the Shelf is EVERYWHERE.
The EOTS is simple – scam your kids into behaving for the entire month of December by telling them Santa’s elf is watching them and reporting back. Every night he flies off to the North Pole, then returns and finds a different perch from which to spy. It seemed like a delightful concept. I read the kids the included book as a bedtime story, and the next morning Emmy burst out of her room yelling, “Mommy! Did the elf come? Let’s go find him!” Adorable…until Alex found the elf, took one look and skeptically proclaimed him “not real.”
The next morning I woke up in a blind panic at 4:30, having realized I forgot to move the elf. Fearful of ruining the Christmas magic and cementing Alex’s theory that the elf was a fake, I tiptoed downstairs, relocated the elf, then stumbled back to bed.
That evening I remembered and perched him on top of a picture frame hanging above our couch. Later the next morning, I heard thundering feet running, followed by panicked muttering coming from the playroom. Investigation revealed that Emmy had ignored the rule of “don’t touch the elf” (not my rule, it’s in the book!) and tried to climb up the end table to get to the elf. When he fell off and landed face first on the couch, she bolted, fearful that she’d killed him, or at the very least taken his magic. When they weren’t looking, I shoved him in a drawer and told them he must have left to go try and get his magic back.
The next morning he reappeared, again when I remembered to move him at 5am. (Sensing a pattern?) Seeing as how I’m running out of places to put him that are both out-of-reach and not hazardous to climbers, I’m thinking this little game should have started around December 15 versus the day after Thanksgiving.
In a spirited frenzy of goodwill and this-is-the-most-fun-tradition-ever, I purchased EOTS for both my sisters-in-law on Black Friday. I hope they still like me by the end of the month. I suspect otherwise.
Topics: holidays, parenting, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »
Tags: elf on the shelf
bleeding blue
By heather | November 10, 2011
On days like today, I’m thankful I have a blog, a space to write without judgement where I can choose to accept comments or not. I have too many opinionated facebook friends and what I feel today can’t be summed up in a paragraph.
I am a third-generation Penn Stater. My grandfather went there. Both my parents went there. My husband, and my sister-in-law and countless other members of my family and close friends all have Penn State in their hearts. Being a Nittany Lion is a huge part of my identity, snuggling on my grandpa’s lap to watch Penn State football and shouting “Beat Pitt!” and “Notre Dame stinks!” before I even knew what rivalry meant. Those were the old school rivals, long before the Big 10.
I always knew I would go to Penn State. I wanted to make my family proud. I wanted the reputation and unquestionable value of Pennsylvania State University on my resume. I never wanted to have to explain where my school was or get blank looks from people when I told them where I earned my degree. I loved the atmosphere on football Saturdays, and being able to meet new people every single day. Penn State shaped my identity as a child and as an adult.
The world I am raising my kids in is a scary place. One thing that remained constant was Penn State being above reproach. We were above scandal, and the idyllic pictures in campus brochures told a true story of what it was like to be a student there.
There are few crimes worse than the one that started this. My heart breaks for those kids, and for every child who experiences any kind of abuse – physical or otherwise. I wonder if there is a person at Second Mile who suspected but kept quiet for fear of losing the money or accusing a respected member of the community, and who is now sick with regret. Our job as adults is too protect our kids, and we failed.
Whatever you think of what Joe Paterno should or should not have done, the fact remains that he truly cared about the students in the football program, not just for what they could bench or how fast they could run, but for shaping them as adults. When my mom was at Penn State, it wasn’t unusual to see Joe in the library with the team making sure they got an education because he knew that only a tiny percentage would make a living playing football. Today, it is the library – not the athletic buildings – that JoePa built.
We as individuals and as a society DON’T ALWAYS DO THE RIGHT THING. For fear we are wrong, for fear of making waves or losing friends, we worry about what others will think and we too often give others the benefit of the doubt when they don’t deserve it. What hurts so much for Penn Staters is weighing all the good that Penn State, and Second Mile, and the Paternos, and the football institution have done for so many people against the horrific events that started it all. There is no winner, only victims. And there are lots of people for whom Penn State is such a huge part of their identity that now they don’t know how or what to feel. Except sadness, confusion, and loss.
The impact of this week to the University and the community that surrounds it will be enormous. Already, high school seniors who have committed to play at Penn State are reneging. Alumni and donors who give millions of dollars every year are questioning whether they will do so next year. The University is trying to assert that it is about more than football. While this is true, the fact is that with an organization like this football and academics are as closely intertwined as DNA. Sadly, this week’s game will be a media frenzy, not because the team has worked hard and deserves attention but because of scandal. Under the glare of television cameras, the school is trying desperately to please everyone and it cannot be done.
If there is anything we can take away from this, if there is anything we can do as Nittany Lions to heal ourselves, it is to resolve to protect those who cannot protect themselves. It is to committ, however difficult, to getting past the fear of what others will think if we speak up. Get past the idea that it it someone else’s job, or that it’s none of our business. Don’t worry about overstepping invisible boundaries or making a scene. Help those who need it. Have no regrets.
Topics: Uncategorized | 2 Comments »
Tags: penn state
pending parenting fail
By heather | September 20, 2011
You know you are screwing up this whole parenting thing when in the same day you:
- Discover your almost-5-year-old hiding in the pantry scarfing Bunny Grahams like some bulimic cast member of The Hills and then carefully disposing of the evidence, flying the Flag of Fairness in your face after you refused him a snack on the grounds that he didn’t eat any of his dinner.
- Race frantically through the mall in the last 20 minutes before you have to leave for a meeting trying to find something…anything! for your kids to wear for school picture day – TOMORROW because, well you just forgot. (And you are still trying to make up for spring picture day when the kids get to hold a real live bunny, in which older child is wearing a shirt with a red-eyed cobra on it that looks like it is about to attack the bunny.)
- Learn that your 3-year-old, upon being asked what she liked about herself in a discussion at school on why each child is “special” responds with “I like my BOOTY” as she jumps up and points to her butt. This is recorded for posterity on the preschool wall, next to other children’s comments about liking their hair or knees.
- Then think to yourself that it could be worse, you could be the mom of that kid who exclaimed “I like my privates!”
Topics: Alex, EK, parenting | No Comments »
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baby watch
By heather | August 4, 2011
Draft post from April 2010 – never published:
It’s happening. The other day I was watching a girl feed her baby the same kind of organic baby food that I used to feed Em and I got a sweep of nostalgia. Today as I looked through my list of categories over there I realized that I probably don’t need “baby stuff” or “baby firsts” anymore.
I swore this would never happen to me.
Last week, I came to home to a request. Alex would like TWO babies. We already have one, but he would really like two. Preferably another girl. Or boy, depending on when you ask.
I never finished or published that post.
Today:
Nevermind. For all the nostalgia, I can’t forget pumping.
I was informed the other day at school conferences that Emmy and Alex are both delightful to have in class and that they should do really well when they transition next month. I had to ask for clarification on that transition thing, and it turns out that Emmy - my youngest, my baby – will be transitioning into the class Alex is in now and he’ll transition to the pre-K class.
Whoa. For some reason, this news hit me like a ton of bricks. I’ve always known that through a trick of birthdays and September cut-off age for school that Emmy would be a grade behind Alex even though they are almost two years apart in age. But for her to actually be in the class that he is in NOW, just seems so sudden, doesn’t it? Like, why rush things? And what happened to me going part-time and spending days creating crafts and doing memorable, childhood-defining activities with them?
Next year, it will be too late – kindergarten is all-day. There will be no random visits to Grandma and Grandpa whenever we feel like it. There will be no crowd-avoiding- family trip to Disney when all the other kids are in school unless we do it THIS YEAR. (Which is completely irrelevant, as I 1) have little desire to go to Disney and 2) have it on good authority that I am almost guaranteed to come back exhausted and in need of a spa retreat.) All of a sudden my work and life will be defined by a school calendar.
Now I see. I see the need for three. Not that I’m going there. But I get it.
Topics: Alex, EK, parenting | 2 Comments »
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