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i can’t believe i’m writing about this because no one will ever visit me again
By heather | August 31, 2007
Summer is over - tomorrow is September and I have no idea how that happened. Alex’s cold is back with a runny, snotty vengeance.
My big excitement for the week was a bomb threat at work on Tuesday. No one really seemed concerned - not the security guards, not the people who got evacuated from their building and had to sit in a vacant conference room in another building for over 2 hours.
The newspaper story interviewed some chick eating a salad at Ruby Tuesday’s across the street which set the whole tone of the article as dumb and frothy. A BOMB PEOPLE! AT A MILITARY INSTALLATION! AND ALL YOU CAN WRITE ABOUT IS HOW WAL-MART GOT EVACUATED? Where’s the sexy homeland security angle?
This has been a light posting week, so oh boy are you in for a treat with this entry. It will be long, because I’m in the mood, and because I feel I owe all 2 of my regular readers a long read. Besides being sick and going to work not much has been going on. Usually I get a free flow of ideas while I drive to and from work, but I got a book on CD to make my drive go faster. It definitely did that, but I also haven’t been thinking up stuff to write about while I cruise along.
By 10am this morning I have already had about 8 people ask me what we’re doing this weekend. Do you really want to know? Dooya? Our big plans for this weekend include watching Penn State football, learning how to use my Facebook page, and pulling up the pee-stained carpet in the den and replacing it with carpet tiles. (I know, everyone wants to be me.)
If you’re wondering how it got pee-stained, especially if you’ve been to our house and are thinking “ewwww” you’re in luck. Like a big dirty nasty secret, we refrained from telling most friends, especially the ones who are close enough to visit us regularly because we were afraid they wouldn’t ever come back, that our cats went a little wacko (what were you thinking I did it?), especially the one we don’t have anymore, Ariel. For that I blame myself.
She started as the best pet ever, until I insisted she needed a friend - enter Cleo. Turns out Ari needed a friend like, not. She hated Cleo and over the years she got more jealous and nuts - both cats started peeing everywhere in our town house. (Again, I know - beyond disgusting.) When we moved to our bigger house, they stopped, as if they were each satisfied with a little more territory and we rejoiced. Yippee!
Then the stalker cat started coming ’round. This damn cat would strut up the front steps to the porch like he was visiting a whorehouse and look in every window at all hours of the day and night. Both our cats went crazy and again started staking out their territory by pissing everywhere.
The arrival of Alex was the final straw. Ari started marking (nice word for peeing) everywhere, including on and near baby things. Watching how she acted was like watching someone slip into dementia. Before you turn down my next invite to dinner, understand that after I took her to the SPCA (where as I sobbed some little bitch of a vegan freak lectured me that they wouldn’t be able to place her because she was OLD, and had I tried EVERYTHING else? and that is the last donation you get from me Peninsula SPCA) I bleached just about the entire house. And also hired a maid service.
The last remnants will go with the carpet this weekend. Because we still have Cleo, who we don’t trust 100% not to pee on the rug and who also pukes a lot, we opted to purchase the carpet tiles. (If we have to replace any tiles because of pee, Cleo will be riding out on the tile.)
Next week I will be able to tell you if carpet tiles rock, or if they suck. I hope to God they don’t suck, because they are stacked $1000 deep in the den ready to get laid. (hee) Last night we cleared the room out, and because I like to demolish stuff, Brett let me pull up one corner of the carpet.
Underneath was hideous linoleum and a stench like no other. Hopefully, unlike all of our other “do-it-yourself” projects this one won’t take 10 times longer than planned/cost twice as much/never get completely finished.
I hope your weekend plans include fun, normal Labor Day things I can experience vicariously like potato salads and swimming. =)
We miss you, girl.
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