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back in the olden days
By heather | November 15, 2007
Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane.
- Philip K. Dick
This morning I was awakened from a cold-medicine-induced-drugged sleep by my husband’s tie hitting me in the face as he leaned over me to tell me he was leaving. It was dark, and my response was to immediately start flapping my hands to get IT – whatever the hell IT was that was hitting my face OFF ME because OMFG what if it’s a bird again! Or a bat! How the hell did that get in here?
Anyway, honey, you’re lucky I didn’t strangle you with your tie before I realized what it was.
Someday I’ll tell you all the true story of why my first instinct would be to think that a bird was flying around my bedroom.
By the time I got to work this morning, I had:
- showered and dressed myself
- dressed Alex
- fed him
- changed his poopy diaper
- pulled him out of a drawer
- pulled him out of Mt. DirtyLaundry
- pulled him out of the fridge where he had located the Yo-baby and was waving it at me while holding onto a gallon of milk for balance
- heard the ominous "wet burp" sound as I drove to daycare
- cleaned puke off him and the carseat using a gym towel
- changed his clothes again
- located missing sock under front seat of car that was yanked off and flung during the ride, AND
- witnessed three head banging temper tantrums
As I drove to work, I was reflecting on what I USED to do in the morning before rolling into work at, oh say, 8:30 or 9. It USED to include:
- getting up at 7:45
- getting showered and dressed
- getting in the car
And if I were sick, I didn’t go. End of story.
All in all, I think insanity is a REALLY appropriate response today. Especially because now that I look back on it, it was a pretty damn funny morning.
Seriously woman, WHAT is taking you so long? Let’s go already!
Topics: baby stuff, deep thoughts...or not | No Comments »
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