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you’ve been carded
By heather | December 5, 2007
In the past, I have been haphazard at sending Christmas cards. I start with good intentions – I will send everyone I know a card with a personal message! And happy thoughts! Here! Have some good cheer! Part of it is the act of picking out the card I want to send. I love looking at all the sparkly goodness, with frosty snowmen or skating penguins, bypassing the boring ones. (Or maybe the boring ones are actually the "mature" ones. If you get a card from me it will probably have a cartoon on it. And glitter. Can’t forget the glitter.) When I purchase a box of cards, it represents possibility and promise.
I take them home and show them off to my husband. I ask if there is anyone he wants to add to OUR card list. Did you get that? OUR list. Being a guy he doesn’t, and being married he knows better than to ask too many questions that could be mistaken for interest in the process and thus followed by a guilt trip to help.
I work my way down the list. I start writing with enthusiasm! and stamina! and a red pen Whee! Then I get derailed by someone who’s address I don’t have immediately handy. Meaning, I know they moved or I never had one. If I can’t call my parents or someone who’s phone number I have memorized to get it, then Christmas carding falls apart right there.
I insert the card into the envelope and write just the name on the outside, thus ruining it for any other use. Odds are I will pack it away with the holiday decor come December 26. The next year I will unearth the same card, and will likely be no closer to having an address. I found a card last year that I had written FIVE YEARS EARLIER. The couple named weren’t even together anymore and hadn’t been for 3 years. Ah memories.
Now seeing that I usually take the time to write a personal message, this year I have a strong incentive to trim the list. Some people I know play a shell game and keep track of who sends them a card one year, and if they didn’t get one the non-sender gets dropped from the list faster than you can say "A reindeer ate your card." I am not organized enough to trim the list that way and I have no idea who carded me last year.
I suppose I could take a stab at a Christmas letter so I would have less personal messages to write, but letters are just too easy to make fun of. I used to sit on the couch with my parents and laugh at the yearly letter from a distant friend who divided his musings into two sections – good and bad. (Yay, JJ did well in soccer this year! But Big John got fired. Damn.)
My friend Jeanine, (who was the first, but not the last, close military friend to desert me by PCSing) explained to me once that the Christmas letter is much revered in military circles – a way to keep track of promotions and babies and moves. I think though, in a military social structure, where everyone is moving through the same ranks, it doesn’t sound like bragging when you talk about recognition or promotion. On the other hand, you sending a letter to your 40-year old second cousin on welfare detailing your new five bedroom house and the pay raise that bought it for you could possibly be taken the wrong way.
If I could write a letter that was humourous, personal, AND interesting I might take a stab. But the delicate balance that must be achieved in writing said letter is just too much for my oft sick, partly overworked, completely disorganized self this year. Last year, our cards doubled as baby announcements because I saw no reason for two mass mailings so close together.
This year’s card will have a photo, which I have not yet captured because there have been a total of 3 days in the last 5 weeks when Alex didn’t have a runny nose and I was not on the ball on day 1, 2, or 3 and then it was too late – the snot was back.
This year’s card will also have printed envelopes because I despise writing out addresses. But not a printed signature, because I got a card one year without a single drop of ink – the sender not only used a computer to print the envelopes but also their names in the card and just stuffed it in the envelope. I mean really, why even bother? Come to think of it, they probably didn’t even stuff or lick the envelope, I bet they paid some teenager to do it and then walk it to the mailbox.
Looking over this entry, I think the best way to trim the list and actually get all my cards done is to just lose the people I don’t have an address for.
Moved? Sorry, should have let me know.
Oh, you did? I just lost the email? Sigh. Right, OK give it to me again?
Card completion – it’s not looking good.
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