By heather | April 1, 2008
Did you gag a little when you read that title? Me too, even as I wrote it. On with the post!
I despise April Fools Day.
That’s right. Bah humbug. I hate stupid jokes. I hate clowns and mimes even more. I don’t think you’re funny. Get a life.
I have a sense of humor, I just like to think it’s a little smah-tah than an email with a subject line about alien abduction (in my work email which is already overflowing with “Your Mailbox is Full” messages – thank you for continuing to add to my clutter).
Perhaps I’m just in a bad mood in general today, but it’s not helped by web links that I click on only to get a “ha ha fooled you” page. And it seems that in spite of me trying my damnedest to ignore this crap, it is continually stumbling onto my radar and annoying me.
Last night I was so irritated about something work related that at 9:40pm, I sat down at the kitchen table with a bag of salty, greasy delicious potato chips, a glass of apple juice, and a Pottery Barn Kids catalog to try and calm myself so I could sleep.
Boy I sure showed them, whoever them is, by ingesting about a gazillion calories and then going to bed feeling like puking. And waking up 2 hours later with a killer stomachache.
So my new calmer, finding atman-like path is this: when I’m irritated, before I do something rash, or take someone’s head off, or throw my laptop across the room, or eat 800 potato chips in a single sitting I WILL FORCE MYSELF TO HANG IN DOWN DOG FOR 5 MINUTES.
Besides being good toning for my arms, this will force me to re-evaluate my position and will take my mind off whatever I’m annoyed about, because then my mind will be focused on how frickin’ long 5 minutes really is when you are supporting yourself and
20 30 extra pounds of baby weight.
As an added bonus, this emits just the right amount of crazy, don’t f-with me right now aura that hopefully if you come into my cube or the kitchen and see me doing it you’ll know to quietly turn around and WALK AWAY.