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this week
By heather | April 11, 2008
I can’t blog when I’m depressed. Does anyone else have this problem? Writing is intended to be therapeutic, something I don’t need an appointment for, don’t have to rely on my insurance to process, and most importantly don’t have to report to my company HR. (Yes, if I go to counseling I am supposed to report it. Whatevah.)
And yet, when I most need it I’m unable to write. Maybe because writing it down puts it in perspective and then I have to realize what a freak I’m being and cut that shit out? Or because I spend my free time watching Jon and Kate Plus 8 to remind myself when I feel overwhelmed what it could be like?
When I disappear for long stretches, it’s usually because I’m wallowing. FYI.
It started raining on Saturday and didn’t stop until Thursday morning. And it wasn’t even good rain, the kind that makes everybody say, “Well we really needed the rain.”
This was drizzle, the type that makes you look like a dumbass if you carry an umbrella and gives you bad hair regardless.
Anyway, life goes on.
On Monday this week, I found the body in the pantry. It was indeed a 5 lb sack of potatoes, gray and fuzzy and mushy, that I had put on a shelf and a tablecloth had fallen over them. Both smelled like all the things I described. I am a model of organization. But! Mystery solved, thankfully no exterminator required.
On Tuesday, I had a knockdown drag out screaming match with my insurance company over their “resolution” to a problem that I reported months ago. The level of frustration that caused me to lose it was compounded by a) the customer service rep giving me an incorrect reason months ago as to why they weren’t processing my claims and telling me it was the doctor’s office’s fault b) learning on Monday that it was indeed Aetna’s fault from my awesome doctor’s office who has been working this for months. I owe my pediatrician close to a grand because the incorrect answer given meant that I didn’t fix the real problem which was simple and would have taken 5 seconds.
There is much more to this that will cause my blood pressure to rise if I type it out and will be boring so I’m going to stop here before my head explodes, as it will do later anyway when I type out the “appeal letter” which is apparently my only recourse.
On Wednesday, I sat in the ob doctor’s office for an hour and a half while my doctor delivered someone else’s baby, so that he could come in, listen to the heartbeat for 10 seconds and pronounce me “good to go”.
Oh and also? The diabetes test where I drink sugar water and then have to sit there for an hour to make sure I don’t go into sugar shock that everyone else does in the doctor’s office COULD NOT be done…guess why? My insurance company won’t pay for it to be done in the doctor’s office, I have to go to a drug testing lab. So do I pay for the test out of pocket and save the time and disgust of sitting in the lab? Or do I go to the lab and waste at least an hour while trying not to touch anything so that the insurance company will pay for it?
Someone remind me that I am lucky to have health insurance, that there are millions who don’t. Or, what would really make me feel better is if someone would tell me a way to stick it to them. I’m already entertaining fantasies of what will cost the insurance company the maximum amount of money when I check into the hospital to deliver this baby. Special dietary needs? Extra pillows? How about hospitalized bed rest for the last week or two?
On Thursday, the sun came out literally and figuratively. Alex and I went to an amusement park and it was gorgeous-in-the-70s-weather where it is impossible to be angry. Therefore, this entry ends here because I don’t want to mar the sunshine-y, cute-picture entry that I’m about to post with crap about my crap-tastic insurance and their incompetant customer service reps (it was Aetna by the way in case you didn’t catch that) that makes me angry every time I re-read it.
Now you know. See you a in few for the sunshine and roses post.
Topics: whining |
April 11th, 2008 at 11:34 am
Try my socialized medicine. I’m going through my own hell this morning.
Vicki’s last blog post..Sew Petit Reviewed at Sweet Pea Cakes!
April 11th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
I feel the exact same way about blogging when I am not feeling my best.
Miss’s last blog post..SPF - Bad
April 11th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
Glad to hear that no exterminator was required! And you KNOW I hear ya about the blogging when depressed thing.
Oh, and if I never have to take another glucose tolerance test again, it won’t be soon enough. I actually kinda sorta cheated on it when i was pregnant with the J-dog, so great was my fear of having to endure the three hour test again (which I did with the V-meister.)
I’m glad you’re feeling better.
April 14th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
I didn’t feel much like myself until the sun hit my vitamin D deficient skin on Thursday. UGH!
Anne’s last blog post..The Stork has Landed
June 16th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
[...] the glory, Heather ———————– Dear Aetna - I hate you with the power of a thousand burning suns. I hope that one day each and every one of your incompetant employees is subjected to the exact [...]