« car seat smackdown | Main | why barack has a long way to go »
all i want
By heather | May 7, 2008
Earlier this week, Jennifer explained what she’d like for Mother’s Day. It was simple, sweet, and definitely do-able. My list is…well, not so much any of those things.
Things I’d Like for Mother’s Day
Number 1: You know how it’s the middle of the night and you can be sleeping soundly when suddenly for no reason at all you jerk awake? And then seconds later your kid starts crying?
It’s like you knew it was coming and your sixth sense woke you up. And you know how you haul yourself up, spend however long comforting them back to sleep, then crawl back into your bed, only to realize you are now wide awake and your husband has either slept through the whole thing or has instantly fallen back to sleep and is snoring with his mouth open?
For Mother’s Day I would like to be able to transfer the 6th sense and obtain the ability to instantly fall back asleep. Not forever, just for a few nights. Even one night.
Number 2: I’m working with a client right now who is “difficult” to put it mildly. To tell the real story, I’ve never had to deal with a grown man who acts like the worst kind of child – who can dish it out but can’t take it, the kind who pushes your buttons until you explode then claims that you are oversensitive or that he was just kidding and can’t you take a joke?
When I first started consulting to this client, he was eager to introduce me as his “assistant” as if he were important enough to warrant a secretary. Which is a fine, worthy job and all except that he isn’t and I wasn’t – I was there to fix stuff that he had f-ed up.
Now with the pregnancy in it’s 7th month, he has taken to making constant jokes that include telling the fat guys in the office that they are waddling like me and was actually dumb enough to address me as ”phat-ty” in an e-mail (which went right in my “Save for Future Revenge/Forward to HR” file). Having worked with him now for 8 months, I know that to complain will impact the work I’m trying to do thus prolonging my assignment, provoke more comments about lightening up, and inspire a refusal to cooperate making my job more difficult. (For the record, I’m documenting everything in writing for when I make my case as to why I want the hell out which may be sooner rather than later.)
For Mother’s Day I would like to punch this bastard right in the face and then kick him a few times when he falls at my feet. And also tell him what a moron he is, because he really, really is.
Number 3: Lately I’m feeling nostalgic for Alex being an only child. I’m kind of sad that pretty soon he’ll have to share my time and affection and our whole world will change. I was headed to an offsite meeting today when I was struck with the overwhelming urge to say screw it and go pick Alex up early from daycare. As I got closer to the street where I had to turn right or left - choose child or career – I started bawling and had to pull over. (I did blow off the meeting, although I sat parked on the side of the road and cried for a while over choices and blah blah.) Then out of the blue before dinner he did the sign language for bear when we were putting together a puzzle and I was so delighted with him I cried again.
For Mother’s Day I would like to stop time for a little while. Oh and also shut off the damn water works because I constantly have makeup running down my face.
So let’s see: temporarily transfer my psychic ability, make the stupid people shut up, and press pause on the world.
Totally do-able.
Topics: deep thoughts...or not, holidays | 6 Comments »
Tags:
May 7th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
Well I hope you get what you want!
And I remember the nostalgia of the only child. It passes. And you’ll love having two. Promise.
May 8th, 2008 at 8:14 am
I have found earplugs to work quite well with #1. If you know nothing is wrong with him then there is nothing wrong with letting him cry.
I know how you feel with #3. I would consider what I went through a mourning period–mourning the fact that Reagan wouldn’t be an only child any more. I love, love, love Ashlyn dearly, but I am so still in the camp of understanding people who decide to have only one.
Have no clue about #2. I’ll definitely pray for the best possible outcome.
Vicki’s last blog post..Look at you, you have a baby?in a bar?
May 8th, 2008 at 9:35 am
First off, I see an ass kicking coming for the guy at work. I will come there and do it for you. Second, don’t feel guilty about anything, you are a great, very patient Mother. I get the other side of the spectrum worrying that Andrew will be an only child (most likely) and the guilt of not giving him a sibling close in age. Alex will always know life with his baby sister and he will always love her. But I really do understand wanting to stop the clock regardless, it goes by way too fast and makes me want to cry too.
May 8th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
As much I’d love to see you haul off and sock the guy, is the lawsuit worth it? ha ha, yes! jokes, jokes. what a pain though, sounds awful.
I’m sure it’s all the crazy pregnancy hormones that are turning on the waterworks. Alex is going to love his new sibling so don’t worry about the guilt thing. But I definitely understand about wanting the clock to stop, especially around my birthday…
skiplovey’s last blog post..Clearly I wasn’t cut out for modelling, but maybe he is.
May 8th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
That dude totally reminds me of every SME (subject matter specialist/engineer) that I ever had to work with as a tech writer. Grrrrrr!
rimarama’s last blog post..A Little Bit of Voodoo Never Hurt Anyone
May 9th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
That guy sounds like an ass.hole. Maybe you should give him a kick.
Miss’s last blog post..SPF – Music Player