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dumb-isms
By heather | June 4, 2008
A guy I work with is the typical loud mouthed government employee who has a loudly expressed opinion on everything. The problem is that he’s also an idiot so often his opinion either makes no sense or is completely irrelevant. It makes me want to carry around a notepad and write down the dumb things he says.
So one day I did.
For your enjoyment, I present “Bob-isms*”
“All Americans should just stop buying gas for one day! Tomorrow nobody buy gas!” And why are we doing this again? To punish the big bad oil companies who will just have to wait it out until (gasp) Tuesday?
“Heather, at least you have an excuse for getting fat – you should see Marcy**! She hasn’t been this fat since after she gave birth!” Really? Does that mean you just gave birth, Bob? Because your potbelly is pretty big!
“WHAT?!? Who says I talk loud?” This bellowed in all seriousness while his cell phone simultaneously screeches it’s AC/DC ring tone.
“I knew a guy that had that same injury and he had to have his leg amputated!” Talking about someone with a knee injury obtained during a softball game.
“I’d like to go on national television and say that’s a bunch of CRAP!” Talking about a certification exam he took, failed, and is now getting ready to take again. Paid for courtesy of the government, this is a $500 exam BTW.
“Supposubly…” There is really nothing to add when someone starts a sentence like this.
* – name changed to protect the stupid
** – name changed to protect his unfortunate wife
Topics: work | 7 Comments »
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June 4th, 2008 at 11:01 am
Wow, there really is a reason people go postal. Are you sure you can’t telecommute?
Vicki’s last blog post..The Princesses Are Sexualizing My Daughter
June 4th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Have you ever met his wife? Poor woman. You should start talking politics with him, if you have the patience, bet you would get lots of funny dumbisms.
June 4th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
I would love to see him go on national television. Sounds like a real winner. It’s too bad you don’t work on the set of “The Office” or he’d fit right in!
rima’s last blog post..Waving the White Flag
June 5th, 2008 at 10:05 am
Very funny post.
“Supposubly” reminds me of a time when I foolish used the word “verbatim” to my boss when I was working as a line cook. He looked at me with a cockeyed expression and exclaimed “berbabum? get back to work, college boy!”
cody’s last blog post..Here’s to the Losers
June 5th, 2008 at 10:18 am
It is this sort of thing that the expression “OMG” was invented for.
Swistle’s last blog post..Well Within Normal Range
June 6th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
I agree, use OMG as much as possible and any other abbreviations you can so you don’t sound like a dumbo
Insane Mama’s last blog post..Meeting James
June 6th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Wow that’s so funny stuff. Of course from the nice distance of a computer screen, if I had to hear that on a daily basis I might just lose it a little.
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