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smiling and saying “aaarrgghh”
By heather | September 24, 2008
Dear District Manager of the Portrait Studio We Visited Today (which I shan’t name here but rhymes with a certain train wreck of a pop star who inexplicably won a lot of awards on the VMAs a few weeks ago):
Lately, I’ve had an urge to get a family portrait taken. Seeing as how Alex hasn’t had a professional picture taken since he was 6 months old, I’ve recently gotten fabulous highlights, and 3 have become 4, now seemed like the perfect time.
I made an appointment for 10:30am because that is the time of the day that usually presents itself as the eye of the hurricane. At 10:30, Alex will have just finished some quiet time and a snack, Emily Kate will have just finished a nap and a bottle, I’ll have had time to brush my teeth, etc.
Do you have any idea how much effort it takes to get the four of us dressed, groomed, and out of the house in a state suitable for eternal preservation on film?
Imagine my dismay when we arrived in our finest coordinated outfits and having practiced saying “cheese” that very morning to find that the photographer was running “just a little late”.
“How late is a little?” I inquire.
“Maybe 20 minutes…”
Allrighty. Perhaps 20 minutes is doable. We should still be in the eye of the storm, although starting to move toward high winds.
At the half hour mark, I again asked how much longer we’d be kept waiting.
“We have maybe 3 more shots.”
I felt the heat rise in my face, and the irritation segue into full on dismay.
FORTY-FIVE EFFING MINUTES LATER the photographer is “ready for ya! Come on back!”
By this time, no one really feels like saying “cheese.” My almost-2-year-old has had enough before we even start. The baby has passed the cooing and smiling stage and moved into this:
zzzzz…brightlightwha?i’m floating in space…zzzz…
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| From sears_sucks |
Great picture of my highlights, but WHAT is going on with that background?
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| From portraits |
Hello hair…
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| From portraits |
And more hair…but on a completely unrelated note I zipped those jeans with nary a muffin top and I have a 10 WEEK OLD.
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| From portraits |
Aside from the fact that we were kept waiting close to an hour by the time the first picture was taken, AND that the photographer displayed as much skill behind the camera as someone who’d recently been fired from 7-11, AND that Brett took a day off work to take part in this debacle we’ll call a photo shoot which resulted in maybe 5 usable pictures…
I DID appreciate the manager agreeing with me when I informed her that she’d enhance this crap for free instead of the usual $7 per mouse click fee. And I ADMIRE her for still having the balls to ask me if I wished to join the Smile Saver Club for a mere $29.99.
Unfortunately, I will have to decline that kind invitation as this experience reminded me why it’s been a year and half since the last photo shoot, and has set Alex on course to have his next professional portrait taken on picture day when he starts first grade in 2012.
Saying “cheese” through gritted teeth and bile in my throat,
Heather
Topics: corporate disappointments |
September 24th, 2008 at 10:22 pm
Aaahhhhahahahahaha. No, I really do feel for you. By the time those morons are ready I’m usually sweating and the cute little outfit was pooped on.
I have avoided those picture places like the plague and instead sign half of our paycheck over to a “pro”. The one we used in Missouri was so good, not only with the quality of the pictures, but she had an eye for great shots and she was so easy to work with. I highly recommend looking into that option if you want to brave it again.
Btw, great hair. Awesome fact that there was no muffin top. Where’s Brett?
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September 25th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Oh screw Sears. They are so hit and miss.
Thinking about it, its been YEARS since I’ve had pictures taken with my son. Wow. That’s sad.
Your hair looks awesome.
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September 25th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
$7 a mouse click? Seriously? That’s highway robbery. Dude I can fix that stuff with my eyes closed (I used to graphic design). I had no idea that’s how much it cost.
There’s some cute shots in there though. And you look fabulous Miss “I just had a baby”.
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