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november resolutions
By heather | November 25, 2008
This weekend I was informed that Thanksgiving at the in-laws will consist of not only our family staying at the house, but also an uncle. I found myself irrationally pissed off by this and spent the morning stomping around, knowing that I had little right to be annoyed but being annoyed anyway. It is not up to me to control the comings and goings of anyone but myself and my kids, nor is it my house to dictate who is a guest.
I can’t control the situation, only how I react to it.
The problem is as soon as Halloween is over, I start to feel the familiar holiday aversion creep over me. The transition from warmth and joyousness of all things fall to cold and dark winter settles like a blanket over my psyche and usually manifests as foot-dragging everything holiday related.
Never feeling like I’ve done enough, decorated enough, not having found the exact perfect present for someone, the crush of commercials and glitter - all of it overwhelms me. I used to feel an obligation to make sure that we spent equal amounts of time with both families and that resulted in driving all over the great frozen north, calculating down to the minute who what and where we’d be and pleasing no one, especially not myself.
In my mind, I am still 19 (aren’t we all?) so it seems unbelievable that I now have a responsibility to start our own holiday traditions for our children. I want to do it, but in some backward sense starting your own traditions is hard – it almost feels disloyal to what you did as a child. And by the time I think of something, I’ve usually waited too long and it’s too late.
By February, all of the above combined with the weather and self-inflicted pressure culminates every year in a semi-breakdown. I’m not sure what it is about that time of the year, but I’m much more likely to have days where I can’t get out of bed, heart racing anxiety, panic attacks, random irrational crying, and even physical symptoms like migraines and unbearable shoulder and back pain.
For a lot of reasons, finally this year I’ve lost most of the guilt. I’m trying so hard not to fall down, get spun up, or feel like I’ve failed before I even start.
This year I want to change how I react.
I’ve gotten so many great ideas on so many things from blogging so I ask, please share with me some ideas for new traditions. Tell me what you do with your kids or spouse that you look forward to every year. Or even what you’re planning to do and maybe didn’t get to last year but definitely will this year. I’m already doing better by the mere fact that I still have plenty of time to implement and we have no travel plans after Thanksgiving.
(As a preemptive note, I will be without Internet for FOUR DAYS. Moment of silence… So if I don’t respond to your comment right away, that’s why – it will be read and responded to when I get back, likely with shaky typing fingers and hallucinations from blog withdrawal.)
Topics: bloggity blog, holidays, self improvement, soliciting advice | 3 Comments »
Tags: crafty traditions, holiday freak out, relax already
November 25th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
Well..first off I would be stomping too because I know how small their house is..second, I hate going there and packing up the kids going from house to house like a shuttle bus. I asked Jim if there was a reason he moved away from there and he said Yes. And I forgot this too, a few years ago we decided to only do presents for the kids..much easier that way, the rest is a waste of money.
November 25th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Here is another one…we never travel anywhere for X-mas…too hard with kids and presents and I want them to be in the comforts of home. I always make cookies with the kids, no matter how messy it gets and open one present on X-mas Eve. We also let them help decorate the tree and I usually get them a new ornament every year that is just theirs so they can keep them when they are older and have their own families.
November 29th, 2008 at 2:09 am
We’re like Steph, we stay at home for Christmas. If people want to see us for Christmas then they can come to us. We start decorating the weekend after Thanksgiving with lots of snacks (crackers, cheese, chocolate) and music. We go out driving once or twice with travel mugs of hot cocoa to look for Christmas lights. We started last year opening our presents on Christmas Eve and then visiting nursing home bound people on Christmas day. We bake a cake for Jesus. We watch our favorite Christmas movies. That’s all I can think of right now…
Vicki’s last blog post..A visual reminder