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fifty is as fifty does
By heather | April 16, 2009
The signs are everywhere that I’m getting old.
sigh…
I was in J Jill buying a pair of office pants last week. I already have a brown pair, but I wanted a black pair in the same style. As I paid, chatting with the lovely 60-ish salesperson, she mentioned that the company has recently changed designers and that I should be excited for the spring line that was coming out. In her words, “This designer really understands how to fit the 35-65 year old woman, none of those ridiculous low-rise pants for teenagers.”
For the record, I am NOT YET 35.
Yesterday I went to the mall to get my glasses adjusted and wandered past the cell phone store. Currently I have the LG Chocolate phone, which provides superb sound quality to listen to mp3s on your phone, and lets you download and surf the internet from anywhere! Whoo hoo!
Except…I use the phone to make calls and text. It kind of sucks for those two things. I don’t know how to put music on it, or surf, or do any of the things the phone begs me to do. So I strolled into the store to look at all the cool phones that will enhance my text message habit and allow me to write blog entries and twitter like all the cool kids do. I picked up one of the display phones – fancy touch screen, ok nice, how do I open it to see the keyboard…no really, how? The next phone – same thing. I manhandled 4 different phones and couldn’t open A SINGLE ONE to get to the adorable teeny qwerty keyboards. I feel certain that if you have to ask for that kind of help you do not qualify for a new phone and should probably be relegated to the pre-paid phone you can buy at 7-11.
The other thing I noticed in the mall is that all the clothing stores look like they are selling the same clothes, and I didn’t recognize any of the store names. Perhaps my local demographic calls for an abundance of surf t-shirts, baggy shorts, and clunky Vans sneakers for guys and teeny tissue thin shirts and 1-inch inseam shorts for girls but I’ll tell you what – tissue thin shirts do not gracefully hide muffin tops no matter how many you layer and short shorts don’t hide anything.
The obvious answer here is to not go to the mall. Or if I go, to head only for the kids clothing stores with the razor sharp accuracy of a missile. Peripheral vision will just show you things you don’t understand, and aren’t prepared to see because you are too OLD to handle it. Next stop: the Blair catalog from the Sunday paper.
Topics: shopping capers | 4 Comments »
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April 16th, 2009 at 9:29 pm
I refuse to comment on this post based on how much I can relate.
OH. Wait, never mind.
Honeybell’s last blog post..Of Course I Was Hit On By A Serial Killer
April 17th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Oh my, resist J Jill! My mom shops there. Nuff said. And no you are not old cuz if you were, then I’d be too so just stop right now.
skiplovey’s last blog post..You know you live in Los Angeles when you can say ?My Acupuncturist? with a straight face.
April 23rd, 2009 at 9:42 am
I love this post! I’ll have to echo the concern of your shopping at J Jill though…
May 3rd, 2009 at 11:19 pm
What’s the Blair catalog? It sounds like you need to reup your subscription to Lucky…
I have noticed the past two summers that I either dress sloppily or too young-looking for my age. That is depressing. This makes me realize I need to move to Florida where women at every age and stage dress the same way and it’s all acceptable.
Vicki’s last blog post..Jaded and cynical? Yes. Surprised? No.