Comments on: waiting http://findingatman.com/2009/07/22/waiting/ Wed, 04 Apr 2012 15:39:13 -0700 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.4 By: alejna http://findingatman.com/2009/07/22/waiting/comment-page-1/#comment-1077 alejna Tue, 28 Jul 2009 04:20:54 +0000 http://findingatman.com/?p=577#comment-1077 Oh, ouch. Poor Alex. Poor you. I hope that things get resolved soon. <em>alejna's last blog post..<a href='http://collectingtokens.wordpress.com/2009/07/25/utensils-photohunt/' rel="nofollow">utensils (PhotoHunt)</a></em> Oh, ouch. Poor Alex. Poor you.

I hope that things get resolved soon.

alejna’s last blog post..utensils (PhotoHunt)

]]> By: Nikki http://findingatman.com/2009/07/22/waiting/comment-page-1/#comment-1076 Nikki Fri, 24 Jul 2009 22:06:48 +0000 http://findingatman.com/?p=577#comment-1076 As a provider myself, I implement a 3 week trial period whenever I enroll a new child. This is not only for the parent to decide whether or not they want to continue care with me, but for me to decide whether the child (and their parents) fit into my tight knit group. This doesn't have anything to do with discrimination, and everything to do with building a quality experience for everyone involved. If one person is stirring the pot, then that person has to find a daycare more suitable for them elsewhere, period. It's unfortunate that your provider has choosen to try to work things out with this parent. Not because I don't believe in cooperation, compromise or mediation, but because this really is an issue that cannot be fixed in a week. And the other children are clearly suffering. As a provider myself, I implement a 3 week trial period whenever I enroll a new child. This is not only for the parent to decide whether or not they want to continue care with me, but for me to decide whether the child (and their parents) fit into my tight knit group. This doesn’t have anything to do with discrimination, and everything to do with building a quality experience for everyone involved. If one person is stirring the pot, then that person has to find a daycare more suitable for them elsewhere, period.

It’s unfortunate that your provider has choosen to try to work things out with this parent. Not because I don’t believe in cooperation, compromise or mediation, but because this really is an issue that cannot be fixed in a week. And the other children are clearly suffering.

]]> By: Holly http://findingatman.com/2009/07/22/waiting/comment-page-1/#comment-1074 Holly Thu, 23 Jul 2009 16:55:47 +0000 http://findingatman.com/?p=577#comment-1074 AUGH! Poor Alex! That is really an awful bite. My heart is breaking for him and for you!! You know, I think that difficult kids exist in every situation (and it doesn't stop with daycare... they are always there) and people are so darn non-confrontational that the kids just learn that it's okay to act out in hurtful ways. This has been our experience for sure and it was sort of alarming. BUT, bottom line? If the provider can't keep your kids safe (and that, ultimately, is the job of any adult watching children: to keep them safe) then she isn't being a capable provider. Which you clearly know and are acting on. "Time at home to work on issues" does not sound like a plan to teach the kid to handle the inappropriate behavior. Is there an assessment plan? A consultation with a child psychologist? Behavioral studies? I'm being serious. Those are the sorts of things I'd be asking... if the idea is to try and keep the difficult kid in the center, then what is the plan for teaching this child to behave? I think that you AND the other parents deserve that information so that you can decide whether it's worth it for you to stick around. If you can find another center, it sounds like you should... but I'd be clear that it's not about the kid. It's about the inability of the provider to handle the situation. If she can't keep the kinds under her watch safe -- whether through requiring parents step in and show progress with a difficult child or by creating limits to the tolerable behavior under her roof -- then you have to step in. She is forcing you into the uncomfortable position of making these changes. I'm not saying that it's easy to deal with a difficult kid. That's why we parents look to good quality childcare providers in the first place -- for HELP from someone with more experience and guidance on how to raise kids. I'm sure she's a lovely person, but maybe this is out of her league. Either way, she shouldn't have to rely on your threats of leaving to kick out the child nor should she be letting him slide with warnings when there is a real problem to be addressed. Also? I'd be a bit ticked off if the parent of said child wasn't freaking out over it and trying to help their kid learn better ways of behavior in any and every way possible. I'm so sorry to be on a roll. That bite mark brought back memories. :-) <em>Holly's last blog post..<a href='http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ColdSpaghetti/~3/Pe_IQk3wlWI/' rel="nofollow">15 Books</a></em> AUGH! Poor Alex! That is really an awful bite. My heart is breaking for him and for you!!

You know, I think that difficult kids exist in every situation (and it doesn’t stop with daycare… they are always there) and people are so darn non-confrontational that the kids just learn that it’s okay to act out in hurtful ways. This has been our experience for sure and it was sort of alarming.

BUT, bottom line? If the provider can’t keep your kids safe (and that, ultimately, is the job of any adult watching children: to keep them safe) then she isn’t being a capable provider. Which you clearly know and are acting on.

“Time at home to work on issues” does not sound like a plan to teach the kid to handle the inappropriate behavior. Is there an assessment plan? A consultation with a child psychologist? Behavioral studies? I’m being serious. Those are the sorts of things I’d be asking… if the idea is to try and keep the difficult kid in the center, then what is the plan for teaching this child to behave? I think that you AND the other parents deserve that information so that you can decide whether it’s worth it for you to stick around.

If you can find another center, it sounds like you should… but I’d be clear that it’s not about the kid. It’s about the inability of the provider to handle the situation. If she can’t keep the kinds under her watch safe — whether through requiring parents step in and show progress with a difficult child or by creating limits to the tolerable behavior under her roof — then you have to step in. She is forcing you into the uncomfortable position of making these changes.

I’m not saying that it’s easy to deal with a difficult kid. That’s why we parents look to good quality childcare providers in the first place — for HELP from someone with more experience and guidance on how to raise kids. I’m sure she’s a lovely person, but maybe this is out of her league. Either way, she shouldn’t have to rely on your threats of leaving to kick out the child nor should she be letting him slide with warnings when there is a real problem to be addressed.

Also? I’d be a bit ticked off if the parent of said child wasn’t freaking out over it and trying to help their kid learn better ways of behavior in any and every way possible.

I’m so sorry to be on a roll. That bite mark brought back memories. :-)

Holly’s last blog post..15 Books

]]> By: Nikki http://findingatman.com/2009/07/22/waiting/comment-page-1/#comment-1072 Nikki Thu, 23 Jul 2009 12:43:41 +0000 http://findingatman.com/?p=577#comment-1072 Stop waiting. Do what's right for your kids. And if you are persistent, there's no reason you can't find another quality home daycare that can take both of your children. Right now is a hard time for family daycare, lots of openings that people can't afford to fill. Start asking around. If this is affecting your child emotionally, that could have permanent damage. And while he will miss his old teacher, he will love the new one you pick out for him too. Go, don't delay. The daycare provider is going to do whatever she can to work with the other parent. You'll be the one to lose here. Stop waiting. Do what’s right for your kids. And if you are persistent, there’s no reason you can’t find another quality home daycare that can take both of your children. Right now is a hard time for family daycare, lots of openings that people can’t afford to fill. Start asking around. If this is affecting your child emotionally, that could have permanent damage. And while he will miss his old teacher, he will love the new one you pick out for him too.

Go, don’t delay. The daycare provider is going to do whatever she can to work with the other parent. You’ll be the one to lose here.

]]> By: Steph http://findingatman.com/2009/07/22/waiting/comment-page-1/#comment-1071 Steph Wed, 22 Jul 2009 20:52:05 +0000 http://findingatman.com/?p=577#comment-1071 I think that needs to be the last straw for Miss S...I mean this has pretty much said that things aren't getting better. I don't think she will let you pull them out without getting the demon spawn out first. I feel sorry for this kid, but you need to do what is best for yours. I think you need to be really straight forward and say this was it, unless he goes, I go. I think that needs to be the last straw for Miss S…I mean this has pretty much said that things aren’t getting better. I don’t think she will let you pull them out without getting the demon spawn out first. I feel sorry for this kid, but you need to do what is best for yours. I think you need to be really straight forward and say this was it, unless he goes, I go.

]]> By: skiplovey http://findingatman.com/2009/07/22/waiting/comment-page-1/#comment-1070 skiplovey Wed, 22 Jul 2009 19:19:42 +0000 http://findingatman.com/?p=577#comment-1070 Wow, tough decisions. But definitely you are making the right choice. If the daycare provider can't guarantee the safety of your children then you ought to move them. It's sad that she can't see how much the other child is hurting (physically and emotionally) the other kids. And it's really sad that the other mother doesn't see it either. <em>skiplovey's last blog post..<a href='http://skiplovey.com/?p=547' rel="nofollow">True confessions of an End Crasher</a></em> Wow, tough decisions. But definitely you are making the right choice. If the daycare provider can’t guarantee the safety of your children then you ought to move them. It’s sad that she can’t see how much the other child is hurting (physically and emotionally) the other kids. And it’s really sad that the other mother doesn’t see it either.

skiplovey’s last blog post..True confessions of an End Crasher

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