« on the road | Main | girl’s weekend »
a kidlet update: alex
By heather | September 22, 2009
Once the lone star of this (sadly neglected) blog, the last year has been a huge adjustment for Alex. At first, when Emily Kate didn’t do much he was fine, even thrilled, with her presence. But as she started to grow more active and more personable, to the point that she was taking not only attention but toys away from Alex, he started checking into the return policy. We always thought that he wouldn’t really remember a time when he was the only child, but whether he remembers or not he most definitely did not like this new status quo.
I spent the summer reading parenting books and researching chemical sensitivities and food allergies – anything to find an explanation for behavior that I was sure couldn’t possibly be normal, because otherwise no one in their right mind would voluntarily sign up for this. I cut out any food with artificial colors or flavors, started buying more organic, and behavior-wise tried following the “1-2-3 Magic” method.
After a rough couple weeks, in which the response to everything I said was, “No, YOU say please” or No YOU stop banging” or No Don’t WANNA go live with gypsies!” Alex has come out nicely on the other side and has reached new heights of big kid-dom. Yesterday for the first time ever, he tried a kiwi and lo and behold decided it was the best thing he’d ever tasted and proceeded to eat three of them. Since it was green and that makes it one step away from a vegetable I kept peeling and slicing until all the kiwi was gone.
There hasn’t been one big thing, but it feels 180 degrees away from where we were a month ago, when everything led to a meltdown, when I tread lightly because just saying “no” to watching a TV program could lead to a 45-minute screamfest complete with tears and hysterics, until he would finally collapse exhausted on the floor.
His language has always been a little behind other kids his age, and when we had him evaluated they didn’t think it was that he couldn’t talk, he just wasn’t inclined to do so. Now for the first time, he’s starting to use complete sentences and verbalize original thoughts, instead of parrotting back whatever we tell him. He has a shyness that I recognize, because that was and still is sometimes me…it’s a shyness that comes off as cold or disinterested but isn’t really, it’s just a way of handling a crowd of unknown people or an uncertainty about how to react in certain situations.
In fact, the very things that frustrate me about Alex are usually the same traits I share. He will do a time-out for 45 minutes because he refuses to apologize. He will do something specifically because he is told not to, he panics at any daycare other than his regular daily place, he will hang back rather than join the other kids at gym class. He gets irrationally pissed off when his daily routine is disrupted – one day a few months ago, he refused to eat his lunch because Miss S forgot to ask him to get out cups for the other kids, which he does every day without fail.
In many ways he is the sweetest, most helpful child – eager to please, hopeful, and funny – quieter than his sister. but more observant. I constantly wonder if I’m being too hard on him, or if I’m fairly dividing my time and attention between the two of them. Usually Alex answers for me – if my attention is too long on Emily Kate I’ll hear him say, “Hi Mommy!” which is a sure sign he’s doing something he shouldn’t be, like standing on a chair or playing with my work laptop or trying to pour his own glass of juice.
 |
He is just a few weeks shy of three. Amazing.
 |
| From 2009_09_13 |
 |
| From 2009_09_13 |
Topics: Alex, nostalgia, parenting | 1 Comment »
Tags:
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:54 pm
I’m totally laughing about the 45 minutes of time-out … Will was the same, 3 was a rough age!
Holly’s last blog post..My new career?