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KID EATS CHEESEBURGER
By heather | April 1, 2010
Holy shit. I can’t remember the last time I posted. What I can remember, without looking back to read it, is that it was vaguely attempting to be wise and philosophical and probably a sappy goodbye to my teacher training. Enough about that.
What I can remember is that for the second week this month, (I mean last month) I spent the better part of a week in bed, sicker than I’ve ever been. Well except for two weeks ago when I had the worst stomach flu I’ve ever had. This time I had the worst sinus infection I’ve ever had, with so much pressure in my face I’m surprised it didn’t puff up like a blowfish before exploding. I finally gave in to the headaches and succumbed to fever on Sunday, when I decided I was still going to be stubborn and refuse to go to the doctor until Monday since I knew I’d just get antibiotics except on Sunday they would cost me $60 more because I’d have to co-pay at a clinic instead of my doc.
Today was the first day I’ve felt less like death and well enough to discover I’ve apparently developed some sort of weird intolerance for amox!cillian since I had it the last time. I had to actually get dressed and go to the office to give a brief, and lo and behold on the way there discovered that not only am I dizzy and spacy but that I ITCH. EVERYWHERE. And am also having inappropriate emotional responses…like crying because Trader Joe’s carries all natural jelly beans. I’m sucking it up for now because I’m guessing another antibiotic won’t be any better and I’m almost half done anyway. And the brief? Let’s just say not the best one I’ve ever given. Mainly because I made the poor decision while I was still spaced out to not bring any water in with me and my mouth got so dry I might as well have stuffed a slice of bread in there.
Last night, Brett and I were snorting our way through Modern Family when Alex started crying a weird, sad little cry that warranted immediate response, as this was no Mommy-I-dropped-my-book kind of cry. I came upstairs after first responder Brett ominously yelled down the stairs, “Honey, you better come up here!” to find Alex sitting up in bed with a sleep sack hanging off his face and immediately fell down laughing. That was before I realized that he hadn’t gotten his lip stuck in the zipper, but that he’d actually gotten the zipper pull stuck between his teeth.
I sent Brett downstairs for bolt cutters and he, wisely, came back with a flashlight. Strapping on his engineering boots, he calculated the precise angle and insertion point and was able to maneuver it back out with a minimum of pain. As opposed to my method which was to give a little tug and be moderately surprised when it didn’t pop loose. After administering some cold water and a gentle admonishment not to chew on zippers anymore, we snuck back downstairs and proceeded to laugh ourselves silly for about ten more minutes.
In other Alex news, he ate a cheeseburger for dinner tonight. This HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE, as indicated by the all-caps-headline-nature of the post title. He also cleaned his plate of sweet potato fries, oranges, asked for yogurt and a cheese stick; and also a cookie. Yay for all the comments telling me kids go through eating phases! And also, umm…yay growth spurt? Here I was thinking that last year’s shorts might actually work for another season instead of looking like Daisy Dukes.
Topics: Alex, parenting | 3 Comments »
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April 1st, 2010 at 11:00 pm
Well, it sounds like you didn’t even feed him enough with that big dinner. Ha!
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April 4th, 2010 at 2:49 pm
Between the teeth!!!! I’m mostly surprised that isn’t the thing in caps for the post.
Sounds hilarious and terrifying at the same time…
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April 4th, 2012 at 11:39 am
Yikes! Having your lip stuck in a zipper is no way to enjoy a sleeping bag. Hilarious! Thanks for sharing.