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freaky parallel universe
By heather | May 6, 2010
I’m kind of anxious for this week to be over. Not because my life is so stressful or anything, but because something crazy or HIGHLY irritating has happened to me every day this week. I’m a little nervous waking up every morning.
Monday: Show up at daycare and in some freaky, horrible version of Groundhog Day – the bad kid was there. After I spent the entire weekend celebrating and detoxing the kids from the bad habits of screaming and eye-rolling and tantruming over every freaking thing. He got kicked out in the beginning of April. First he had two weeks notice, then an apparent review of the contract between parents and daycare determined they would actually get three weeks notice. On Monday, they showed up claiming that an extension had been granted by text message and in some sort of delayed reaction mode, Miss S did not slam the door in their faces or make them prove their claim.
Also on Monday, I totally lost my voice, which I believe to be God’s way of protecting me from saying something I shouldn’t as I live in this freaky parallel universe where this kid just WON’T. GO. AWAY.
Tuesday: I come back to the house, still silent and voiceless, to find that a garbage truck has dumped a literal ton of garbage on the street in front of my house. Apparently the driver, who meant to hit “COMPRESS” had a slip of the finger and pushed “DUMP” instead. Is it just me, or should those buttons really be further apart?
Wednesday: Speeding ticket while taking Emily Kate to gymnastics class. All around me red Corvettes and jacked up Oldsmobiles roar past, and yet the motorcycle cop opts to pull over the mom driving a minivan. Still no voice, so I can’t even argue or demand to see the radar gun. Af friend of mine pointed out that with my fine, I’ll be helping to keep city employees on the payroll. Like the one who dumped a ton of garbage in front of my house.
Am so annoyed by this, that I decide to take a Cinco de Mayo style lunch because I heard tequila is good therapy for a variety of ills. I’m starting to wish I’d paid more attention to the baby sign language videos because I’d like to be able to say more than “milk”, “please”, and “thank you”.
Thursday: My work computer, which had been acting funny by refusing to play sounds when I watch YouTube videos and instead made loud, insistent, DOS-like beeps suddenly works again. There was no interference from me, although I would say it’s a good thing I didn’t take it to the tech support guys because it probably would have been one of those embarrassing situations where they can’t find the problem and it would indeed work swimmingly for them.
Also, Brett makes a doctor’s appointment for me because I SHALL NO LONGER BE SILENCED. Verdict: there’s nothing they can do. You can try this prescription for steroids but it really just takes time and resting of the voice. Same astute friend points out that when my voice starts to return I’ll know that I’m leaving the parallel universe and returning to my version of normalcy. Until then, I just watch and learn. And whisper.
Topics: freaky | 3 Comments »
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May 6th, 2010 at 4:02 pm
De-lurking to tell you Mercury is in retrograde. Hopefully everything will clear up when it goes direct on Wednesday. That’s probably when your voice will come back also.
May 6th, 2010 at 4:06 pm
May 7th, 2010 at 11:08 am
Oof. That is a lot of freakiness. Annoying freakiness. Hope you return to normalcy soon.
alejna’s last blog post..an afternoon in early spring