too late
By heather | August 11, 2008
Look away for one second…
and your toddler kid will find a tube of mascara, figure out how to open it, and attempt to apply it as he’s watched you do many a time. And then…
he’ll realize that it actually feels weird and goopy and will rub his eye in an attempt to get it off resulting in a bizarre 80’s glam rocker look.
And as you laugh, you remember that it’s waterproof mascara and that the more time you spend taking pictures of it, the harder it will be to remove. But by then it’s too late. Too late.
Topics: toddler stuff | 4 Comments »
the entry that almost was
By heather | August 10, 2008
I was going to write today about how I finally hit a wall with getting up at 3am and 6am EVERY DAY FOR THE LAST MONTH. And I was going to explain how I begged and cried and convinced Brett to switch nighttime feeding duty with me so I would put EK to bed at 11pm and he would do the 3/6am feedings.
Then I was going to write about how last night, EK slept from 11:30pm until after 5am, which is basically sleeping through the night ON THE ONE NIGHT THAT I WASN’T THE POOR BASTARD GETTING UP WITH HER.
And then I was going to metaphorically stomp my feet and bitch about how THAT IS SO UNFAIR, WHY WHY WHY? This always happens to me! And I always get in line at the grocery store behind the asshole who NEEDS a price check or is writing a check and can’t find a pen! Woe is me!
But then I thought, smiling a beautific smile, that this blog is about finding ATMAN -soul searching and inner peace, if you will, and maybe I could be a bigger person than that and not begrudge Brett his full 8 hours of sleep or act like a spoiled child just because I never get to sleep that many hours in a row and probably never will EVER AGAIN.
Because really, I have to get up and pump anyway or my boobs would explode like a melted milkshake. I am lucky to have a supportive husband who is helpful and accomodating. Yes.
Smiles wider…cheeks hurting…
I don’t need to write that entry.
Topics: baby stuff, whining | 3 Comments »
things heard on Heather’s First Day As A SAHM
By heather | July 29, 2008
Wow, it’s 11:30 and I still haven’t managed to brush my teeth. (Said out loud to no one in particular)
Alex, since when can you open the baby shampoo? Do you think it would be better to wipe it up with a wet or dry paper towel? (Answer - not wet)
Ow! You just bit me! No biting! (Directed again at Alex, who bit me in the ass, while I was doing a down dog attempting to get some abdominal strength back)
Alex, stop climbing on the window/pulling the blinds/etc, etc. (Unfortunately, when Mommy is attached to the pump there is a distict lack of urgency on Alex’s part to comply)
Get out of here you f*c%ing hairy beast! (Directed at the cat, after she used the litter box then raced across the playroom almost stepping on EK with her dirty, nasty paws. One day I’ll write about our adverserial relationship and why I hate the cat)
Please, please come home in time for me to go to yoga. (Begging Brett, who did and it was great)
Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea what my day was like today? Do you think I have time to sit in front of the TV? (In response to Brett, who was fantasizing about all the HD channels that are going to carry every Olympic event, that I will, in theory, be able to watch as I lounge on the couch eating ice cream and painting my toenails)
However, I was here for this…
and this…
and this.
Which was pretty awesome.
Topics: baby stuff, toddler stuff | 4 Comments »
can you tell I’m sleeping broken sleep?
By heather | July 28, 2008
I remember, way back before Alex was born, wondering what it was that stay at home moms did all day. Har har.
Last night, exhausted at 6pm I sat on the couch feeding Emily Kate watching Alex run laps through the house, as he’s been doing nearly full time for the last 6 days. He never stops moving. Ever. He also never walks.
Sitting on my butt in some office all day is WAAAAY easier.
Where do you find your Internet time with two kids?
I really want to go to the gym.
Second kids get the shaft on picture taking. I’m realizing that I have little to choose from, so I’m posting this and then going to stalk my offspring with the camera.
Namaste to all those with faux-hawks.
Topics: baby stuff | 7 Comments »