the shoe abyss

I stare at this photo, and the only matching pair I see are the twee little sneakers right in front. 

Tiny shoes.

Pointy shoes.

Dirty shoes.

Not in pairs.

Last week, after I took this picture I cleaned out the shoe closet and arranged everything in neat rows.  And this morning it looked exactly like that picture. 

And we were gone for four out of the last seven days.

Argh.  Someone tell me how to organize our shoes.  Note that there is a plastic, crappy shelf in that closet, which is obviously no match for the combined might of 837 single shoes speed dating trying to find a match.